New Browser Promises to Use Only 90% of Your RAM
Published: November 8, 2025 — by Stanley, JavaScript Times
In a stunning leap forward for computer efficiency, a new web browser called Chrome Minus has promised to consume a mere 90% of your computer’s memory instead of the usual 100%. Developers describe this as “a huge milestone in almost-not-melting your laptop.”
Early testers report that Chrome Minus feels nearly identical to regular Chrome — tabs open, fans spin, RAM cries softly — but there’s one noticeable difference: it now apologizes for existing. Upon startup, the browser displays a friendly pop-up reading, We’re sorry for the inconvenience. We’ll try not to eat all your memory this time.
“It’s refreshingly polite,” said beta tester Ryan North. “Usually my laptop just starts wheezing when I open a second tab, but now it says ‘oops!’ first. It’s nice to feel acknowledged.”
The development team says Chrome Minus was built from the ground up using the same codebase as Chrome, but with one key modification: they commented out one line of code that says while(ram_available) { use_more_ram(); }. This, they claim, resulted in the dramatic 10% efficiency gain.
Critics argue that Chrome Minus doesn’t address deeper issues like privacy, tab hoarding, or the mysterious 17 background processes labeled “Chrome Helper (Renderer).” In response, Google issued a statement saying they are “excited to continue optimizing the experience for users who enjoy both speed and suffering.”
For those who still find Chrome Minus too demanding, an even lighter version called Chrome Negative is currently in development. According to rumors, it actually adds RAM to your system, but only by deleting random files to make space.